» Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]


 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]


 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
Halcyon Digest
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Fat Possum

February 24, 2000
My guess is that this website is very popular in Illinois, and elsewhere. Given that I spent so much time cavorting Hollywood I maintain an edge about what is going on in society. I developed this knowledge long ago using options with my career and walking with this know how.

Given my philosophic nature and international demerits, you can consider myself and my recordings slices of present society: up north in Chicago it is business as usual, and I think I'm making progress!

Going to the Loop to make a deposit and withdrawal the fifty dollars that my Grandma sent me, I went into a grill place and asked about the chicken sandwich special, so he put a piece of chicken on the grill. Said it didn't include fries, so I said I was off to get cigarettes and abandoned the poor chef.

I found when I went into the place I speculated about earlier, an Italian place, that it was moderately priced and had loud music. I was thinking more Godfather but that wasn't the case. The bars outside didn't look too out- standing so I began a hunt for some sort of newspaper that would list gentleman's clubs.

This dude standing there noticed my new windbreaker, and I turned around to ask him about my choice of destination. He knew all about it, and for a dollar, was sent on my way down Clark street. I noticed girls walking by and thought that that's what I was going to see: one of those places where they dance behind glass.

I found the spot, the guy (also behind glass) gave me the lowdown, too expensive with the tips. A business guy came in and wanted a couch dance instead, which is what I wanted in the first place as well. I told him let's go find a place and left, he stayed inside, most people can't keep up with me, the spirit of adventure (grandma's money).

I ducked around the corner and into an adult store and found a guide that listed gentleman's clubs. There was one on the same street where I got a ticket for smoking in the subway, I hate that area. Plus the guy in the lobby had gone inside for a dance already, and I was counting on his cab money.

I returned to home base, but this time it wasn't an old guy working there at the shop. I gave him the required purchase of three dollars in tokens and began looking around, I thought I could use the tokens to buy some condoms that's about it. When I tried to pay he said the tokens were for the booths to the rear so I made my way back.

This was a cool treat to spend Grandma's money on, I would never tell her, but it fit the season. There was some cool shots of techniques I hadn't seen and a good scene with a pretty porn star I finished off with, wiping it off on my sock to the dismay of the sign warning against discharge.

Ducked into the bar on the corner. Oh my God, I thought it was only California, but the bartender had her top drawn up, nice skin, whatever, she was a definite lollipop. Anyway, her working friend took an interest in me, and I returned the glare... to her female enlightenment eye. Types I'm looking for know when I'm working on something, they are very smart.

For those who don't know, or participate, stalking the city is the act of walking around reading into the underlying poetry of the city. It began in the loop, went down Clark, had some trouble, and then went some way looking for Rush street or anything else.

Little by little the area was descended upon, looking like a rich kid on the street, a strange mix for humanity, bent on research like a telephoto projector.

Noticing a huge bar in the shape of a big castle my roommate had mentioned, I approached. And sat next to two girls at the bar. We exchanged a few words. When I sat down I could feel her undermining glare at me. Her friend left to go chat on a couch with a tired guy; when this happened the country girl looked at me with that annoying eye that means cheap romance.

To my belief women can't help but be like this; at any rate she was more concerned with talking to the Mexican bartender, even on topics I brought up, though only two. I guess I'll need to get more famous before I can compete with the bartender. Besides she wouldn't understand stalking anyway.

The reason I do this column is precisely for these kinds of reasons. I like to get a beer, everywhere I go it seems like I run into some kind of rejection that was fabricated. I wasn't having much fun at all next to her, I just sat there because there was no one else in the bar. I suppose if I set my watch for twenty minutes and had two more four dollar Budweisers....

This incident at the Excalibur super-bar put a damper on my Christmas present. I continued onward, making my way onto the famous Rush street strip. Finding my home base from last months screen story research, the Whiskey it was called, a very classy place where the cokes are three dollars. Definitely the right place to end the route of dangerous literary techniques I employ regularly in this region.

Tom Schmidt
No one really knows anything at all about Tom Schmidt.

See other articles by Tom Schmidt.



If you'd like to help spread the word about LAS, or simply want to outfit yourself with some adhesive coolness, our 4" circle LAS stickers are sure to hit the spot, and here is how to get them:

--> Send an with $2 in PayPal funds to cover postage. Don't worry, we'll load you up with enough to cover your town. Then just be patient. They will arrive soon.


LAS has staff and freelance writers spread across North and South America, Europe, and a few in Southeast Asia as well. As such, we have no central mailing adress for unsolicited promotional material. If you are interested in having your project considered for coverage, please contact us before sending any promotional materials - save yourself time and postage!