» LATEST FEATURES

LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
LOSTATSEA.NET > FEATURES >

December 1, 2001
NINTH EDITION: WITHOUT JESUS I WOULDN'T HAVE MY CAMPERS

Christmas is wonderful. Not for all the usual reasons: families coming together; a time to reflect; dad hitting mom, so hard--REPEATEDLY. Rather, I love Christmas because it allows me to step from the wardrobe and embrace the superficial materialistic clotheshorse I am. Throughout the year, I bog down my credit card (the billing address matches Daddy's, natch) with Blur-esque Levis nylon double-zipper parkas (with hidden sleeve pocket in which to store my money and subway pass, to fool all those kooky minorities that may try to gank my Benjamins, or Washingtons); sweet-ass 517 indigo Levis jeans with Sta-Prest pitch and pockets that sag off my as--the perfect medley of 1950's subtlety and 2K1 thuggery; nutmeg London Fog windbreakers with chestnut lining (postmodern James Dean, don't you know); and several reputedly "vintage" cowboy shirts from local boutiques.

And I feel bad for this. Because Dad busts his behind for me to sit in the arse end of trendiness--Chicago's Wicker Park--spending nine grand of financial aid on food and--mostly--booze, expecting him to chip in for all the personal effects. Listen, people, without those effects I might just look like all the other "I dress for comfort" schmos on the street, instead of one of the dark denim/black glasses elite in the Park. I've got a reputation.

But at Christmas, there's nothing to feel sorry about. We "starving artists" depend on mom and pop's checkbook for the essentials: Joy Division box sets (whoa--Curtis and company aren't nearly esoteric enough--The Strokes, then, but fuck, they just hit major air play); pink, cordless Hello Kitty phones; and--whatever else.

The point is at Christmas you get more of the same, but guilt-free. That's what Christmas really is: the annual absolution of guilt that burns in the back of our minds throughout the year while we protest the Real World because of its corporate ties; convince ourselves we've more in common with poor minorities than their oppressors-that we aren't part of the oppression; attend gallery openings; and other ways of prepping ourselves for the university jobs we'll vie for after completing our degrees.

So enjoy it.

--
Joe Jarvis
No biographical information available.

See other articles by Joe Jarvis.

» MEDIA DOWNLOADS

» GOT STICKERS?

If you'd like to help spread the word about LAS, or simply want to outfit yourself with some adhesive coolness, our 4" circle LAS stickers are sure to hit the spot, and here is how to get them:

--> Send an with $2 in PayPal funds to cover postage. Don't worry, we'll load you up with enough to cover your town. Then just be patient. They will arrive soon.

» WORLDWIDE DOMINATION

LAS has staff and freelance writers spread across North and South America, Europe, and a few in Southeast Asia as well. As such, we have no central mailing adress for unsolicited promotional material. If you are interested in having your project considered for coverage, please contact us before sending any promotional materials - save yourself time and postage!