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LOSTATSEA.NET > FEATURES >

January 7, 2008
Rating: 4/10

If you are looking for "real cinema" (say cinéma véritable et authentique with a snooty French accent), Alien Versus Predator: Requiem probably disqualifies itself from your consideration on name alone. But if you are, like me, a thirteen-year-old boy at heart, AVPR is a rollicking good example of popcorn movies at their non-sensical best. If I were only considering AVPR within the confines of its genre, the film would be getting a much higher score than it is. But as a piece of cinema in the broader scope, a four is all it is worth.

To summarize, this Predator Ship and its two-Predator crew are on a leisurely predation flight around Earth, en route from picking up the body of their dead buddy. The futuristic Rastafarian-looking killers have their guard down, because the leaves are changing and all, but the joke is on them as a castaway alien egg, stashed inside the corpse of the third Predator (fallen at the end of the first Alien Versus Predator), pops out and goes on a killing rampage, a melee that causes the extra-stellar craft to crash into Earth, landing just outside Gunnison, Colorado. And of course there is not just one but a lot of baby Aliens on board, so when the ship plows into a mountainside there is a diaspora of seed a tiny Aliens escape from their specimen jars. Mortally wounded, one Predator manages to survive long enough to send out an SOS distress call, which another Predator, back on Predator Planet, heeds by mounting a one-Predator rescue mission. By the time the Rettungs-Predator touches down there are none of his kind to rescue, and so instead the plot conveniently shifts to a premise of Predator attrition against Aliens. Toss in a never-before-seen Predator/Alien hybrid, and you've got yourself a full-blown movie.

But you know, humans being the narcissistic species we are, there has to be a human element incorporated into our films so that we may properly identify with them; enter the town of Gunnison and its populace, caught in the middle of the epic battle. Not only that, but there's a biomedical twist in that the mutant Alien-Predator Hybrid (APH) has a taste for pregnant humans, as homosapien women can apparently host four APH babies in the womb at once (as opposed to the single chest-baby that non-pregnant-women and men can host). Sure, that all sounds a bit outlandish, but you kind of have to shut down that part of your brain - you know the part that reasons and deals with logic - to properly enjoy AVPR.

That said, if you enjoy watching two things kick the shit out of each other, this film will be highly rewarding. Again, don't try to think about why they are kicking the shit out of each other, just enjoy it. The requisite humans are thrown about the screen for effect, including Michelle from 24. She is actually the only person I recognized, and only as "Michelle from 24"... [insert sounds of Googling] - here we go, Reiko Aylesworth, who plays a soldier on leave from Iraq, so she is there to do military stuff. There is an ex-con coming home, named Dallas, so he is of course there to think "outside the box." In tow Dallas has a lame awkward little brother, who's in love with an inappropriately dressed blonde hottie. There is rather dim sheriff, who also used to hang out with Dallas in his younger, more irresponsible years but is now reformed. Oh, and of course, there is the blonde hottie's overly-agro boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. So you tell me, with all those possibilities, who will die in this movie?

Nearly the whole of AVPR is filmed in the dark, so at times the action can make it hard to tell the difference between the Predator and the APH. If you're following closely you'll be able to catch everything, but my boyfriend didn't even notice there even was an APH, so it may be difficult to follow what is going on. I blame editing for the most part.

Alien Versus Predator: Requiem is what it is. Nothing of substance, a throwaway flick made for cheap thrills, a vehicle for giving B-actors work - where would half of Hollywood be if these films weren't made? Gleaning demographics from the crowd I saw it with, films of this ilk are made for all teenage boys/virgins everywhere. I am neither, but I do love action and gore. I was the kid who took all the girls from my ten-year-old birthday slumber party to see Aliens in the theatre. And in that spirit AVPR does deliver in the best way that it can. Don't expect mush and you won't be disappointed. At one point in my life, I would have considered the concept of pairing an Alien in a movie with a Predator to be cinematic genius. And, you know, it still is... in theory. Where a lot of things, like Communism, work.

SEE ALSO: www.avp-r.com

--
Rachael Neile-Mcgrew
Rather than writing screenplays as her film school education would dictate, Lulu Mcgrew spends her time as a freelance contributor to LAS and a number of other publications, as well as blogging prolifically.

See other articles by Rachael Neile-Mcgrew.

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