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[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

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 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

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 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
LOSTATSEA.NET > FEATURES >

October 3, 2001
Rating: 9/10

Just to make this more difficult, I've decided to write this review on the Mac downstairs, while sitting in a rocking chair and listening to Pink Floyd. Let me sum up the experience of Grand Theft Auto 3 quickly and concisely by saying that it is unequivocally as far removed from any of those things as it could possibly be.

Now, allow me to elaborate. Grand Theft Auto 3 is the game you always dreamed about playing. You drive fast cars. Then you climb out of them and beat the living shit out of everyone you see with your fists, or perhaps a baseball bat. Alternatively, you can punch holes in passers by with any number of firearms. It's your choice; you're the wheelman-slash-errand boy for a strange assortment of mobsters and gang bangers, running missions and playing all the ends straight up against the middle.

Players begin the game unarmed and freshly sprung from the pokey. Your first order of business outside the joint is to drive your boy 8-ball (voiced by Guru) to meet his main man Luigi (voiced by Joe Pantoliano, also known as that guy that played Cipher in The Matrix). From there you get sent on all sorts of missions that range from picking up a hooker and dropping her off at Joey's crib (Michael Rappaport in a fucking video game... there is a God!) to rolling through Chinatown on orders to blow the shit out of the triad.

Of course that entire last paragraph was a waste of screen space, as anyone even remotely interested in low-brow entertainment like this knows that the missions are one of the least appealing parts of the game. After an incredibly short while you'll find yourself eschewing any goals and most rules, instead wandering all over Liberty City, jacking whatever car you want, and running over as many civilians as you can without the Fuzz comin' down on you hard.

This game will forever be remembered for what it does to your life. My roommate and I take joy in getting our "Wanted" level up as high as we can and then seeing how long we can survive without the Pigs toasting our asses like bread on Sunday morning. And I have to tell you, there is most definately something to the psychology establishment's bent against violent entertainment for children; hell, we're adults and living like violent speed freaks due exclusively to the subconscious influence of Grand Theft Auto 3. I wake up in the morning and want to ram every asshole on the highway into the ditch, just so I can climb out of my Honda and club the fucker with a Louisville Slugger. Scott sits in the living room, perpetually telling me how badass the flamethrower is.

Face it folks, this game is bad. Horrible. Truly awful. But Jesus-fucking-Christ it's got intense game play, great graphics, and an involving storyline, all wrapped up in a sweet little ultra violent package. The only thing this game is lacking is an all-Black Sabbath soundtrack to jam to while looking for another innocent bystander to fuck up beyond all recognition.

SEE ALSO: www.rockstargames.com
SEE ALSO: www.psychologymatters.org/videogames.html

--
J. Brian Hall
J. Brian Hall is the founder and operator of transmission3000.com, a site dedicated to live MP3s from indie and alternative bands. He occasionally contributes to LAS.

See other articles by J. Brian Hall.

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