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LITERATURE

 » Full Dark, No Stars - Stephen King's new novella questions mankind's ability to trust others.
[02.21.2011 by Bridget Doyle]

MUSIC

 » The Top 30 Albums of 2010 - Fashionably, fabulously late, our favorite music (and believe me, there was a LOT) of 2010, the year that some have called the best year for music ever. And only some of those fools work here. Plenty of usual suspects, lots of ties and a few surprises that I won't spoil, including our unexpected #1.
[12.24.2010 by The LAS Staff]

MUSIC

 » Live: Surfer Blood/The Drums at Lincoln Hall, Chicago, IL - Remember when Weezer used to put together records that you could sing along to and rock out to? That's what Surfer Blood's show was like!
[11.04.2010 by Cory Tendering]

Music Reviews

Screaming Females - Castle Talk
»Screaming Females
Castle Talk
Don Giovanni
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
»Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
The Social Network [Original Soundtrack]
The Null Corporation
Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
»Deerhunter
Halcyon Digest
4AD
No Age - Everything in Between
»No Age
Everything in Between
Sub Pop
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
»Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 1/ Body Talk Pt. 2
Konichiwa
The Walkmen - Lisbon
»The Walkmen
Lisbon
Fat Possum
LOSTATSEA.NET > FEATURES >

July 25, 2001
The haircut worked

By now I'm coming across the roots of the problem, if there is one. One chick I locked lips with last night at the trendy area 54, she was a psychologist. She thought that I possessed a sort of depression and confusion which made me feel separate from the world. Whoever said that girls were dumb? The moments that began to bring on the conspiracy were deep rooted in the flakey L.A. writing scene. When I wasn't becoming spontaneously pissed at friends, the world took on a grandiosely frustrated quality. Either it was due to my said human condition, or inspired by the large amounts I was spending on L.A. transportation. In all the turmoil it would merely take a cute psychologist chick to unravel the conspiracy. Still, to this morning I can't describe if kissing with cocaine smeared lips is any better. More respectable characters would agree that girlie action feels better when sober.

The girl was there with many female friends, so I moved on to where the cocaine was and received more information on where my trauma began, in and around the skater industry. So, I guess my life is going to be boring now. I have always been a big fan of jokes, and the more I think about it it seems a clear head would be more applicable for humor. My only conquest in this world is that I am a funny little man, at least that's what one character said during a crazy moment in my life: I lost all my best CD's, but since then have found male masseuses. The females are just too crazy. I need a stocky bitch. Make it have a tan or get the fuck out. Kissing on narcotics, life as a thirty year old has taken a drastic turn. The enjoyment of being extremely handsome. They say a man looks best at thirty. For the first time it seems that the primeness of life is apparent. Love cannot be found in the wrong places. Tell you what - try an after hours party. Tell them someone known simply as "the conspiracy" sent you.

--
Tom Schmidt
No one really knows anything at all about Tom Schmidt.

See other articles by Tom Schmidt.

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